THERAPEUTIC

Destroy Your Problems, Not Your Wallet 💰

Why pay $200/hour for therapy when you can smash a $29 keyboard? Our products are scientifically proven* to be 87% more effective than traditional counseling.

*Scientifically proven by our marketing department

💸 THERAPY VS RAGE THERAPY

😰TRADITIONAL THERAPY

Hourly Rate$200
Sessions Needed12-24
Total Cost$2,400-$4,800
Time Investment3-6 months
Insurance CoverageMaybe?

Therapy Downsides:

  • • You have to talk about your feelings
  • • Awkward silences
  • • "How does that make you feel?"
  • • Expensive tissues
  • • No instant gratification

💥RAGE THERAPY

Keyboard Cost$29
Sessions Needed1
Total Cost$29
Time Investment5 minutes
Insurance CoverageNot needed!

Rage Therapy Benefits:

  • • Instant stress relief
  • • No awkward conversations
  • • Satisfying destruction sounds
  • • Great for social media content
  • • Immediate results

💰 SAVINGS CALCULATOR

Traditional therapy: $3,600vsRage therapy: $29

YOU SAVE $3,571! 🎉

That's enough money to buy 123 more keyboards to destroy!

🧠 SCIENTIFIC BENEFITS

🧘‍♂️

Stress Reduction

Studies show that controlled destruction releases endorphins, reducing cortisol levels by up to 73%. That's science!

Research Note:

"We asked 5 people and 4 of them felt better. That's an 80% success rate!"

💪

Physical Exercise

Smashing keyboards burns calories! One rage session = 15 minutes on a treadmill. Your therapist can't do that!

Calorie Count:

Keyboard smashing: 150 calories
Therapy couch sitting: 2 calories

🎯

Problem Solving

Instead of talking about problems, destroy them! Your keyboard is the problem? Problem solved!

Logic:

If keyboard = frustration
Then destroy keyboard = destroy frustration
Math checks out! ✅

💬 THERAPY SUCCESS STORIES

S

Sarah M.

Former Therapy Patient

"I was spending $200/week on therapy for 6 months. One keyboard smash session and I felt better than all those sessions combined. My therapist is now our customer!"

Savings:

$4,800 → $29 = $4,771 saved!

M

Mike R.

Anger Management Graduate

"My anger management class cost $500 and took 12 weeks. I learned more about controlling my rage from destroying one mouse than I did from all those group sessions."

Savings:

$500 → $19 = $481 saved!

⚠️ IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER

While our products are therapeutic, they are NOT a replacement for professional mental health care. If you're experiencing serious mental health issues, please seek professional help.

When to See a Real Therapist:

  • • If you're thinking about hurting yourself or others
  • • If your rage is affecting your relationships
  • • If you're destroying things that aren't ours
  • • If you're spending more on keyboards than rent

But seriously, our products are great for stress relief and much cheaper than therapy! 😄

Start Your Rage Therapy Journey! 🚀

Skip the expensive therapy sessions and start destroying your problems today! Your wallet (and your stress levels) will thank you.